2015 Goodbye, Good Riddance
Dec. 26th, 2015 09:54 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
waitingmanSo that was the year that was, huh...?
For the first time in living memory, I will be looking forward to New Year's Eve & Day, as it means a line can be drawn under 2015 - if not through it - & can be consigned to memory, under the sub-heading 'Bad Ones'. I normally don't enjoy New Year's, as it's always an opportunity for me to reflect on what I didn't achieve, unfulfilled ambition, where I am as opposed to where I should be.... or even where I'd like to be, the nightmare of impossible dreams...
But not this year. This year, I think, is one to maybe take a little pride in getting through in reasonable shape. Not the ideal shape, but one that's at least functional & intact
The death of my Father, starting with the phone call I received at work, telling me he'd fallen down the stairs, was unconscious & in the back of an ambulance on the way to hospital. His long struggle with Parkinson's Disease, including the fitting of an electrical stimulator inside his skull to couteract tremors, only made him more determined to do all the things he'd always done - draw, carve & all the domestic chores & projects he always found, including painting the upstairs back balcony. Paint tins in one hand, brushes in the other, he started up the stairs for the last time, ignoring the handrail. One thing the stimulator couldn't fix was balance... & he lost his
The two operations to relieve pressure on his shrunken brain (another Parkinson's symptom), the little improvements, but the large setbacks. The last time we took him off the breathing support
The phone call I received at work, telling me he was gone. The funeral with welcome friends & family & some who emerged from the past, only to fade back into it once the occasion was over. The hardest speech I ever made. The best one my sister ever gave
The death of a beloved family cat after a fall at home - off a high fence. coming home to find her in her usual place, only to realise something was drastically wrong when I picked her up. The wait at the all-night Vet. The decision the following morning to have her put down. The quiet, sunny corner of the back yard where she'll forever be under a shady plant
The health issues... mine, my nearest & dearest, family, friends. Just because I can endure, doesn't mean I want to... I'm quite capable of enjoying a quiet, orderly life too... when's that coming?
2016... hopefully. The year of the Phoenix?
For the first time in living memory, I will be looking forward to New Year's Eve & Day, as it means a line can be drawn under 2015 - if not through it - & can be consigned to memory, under the sub-heading 'Bad Ones'. I normally don't enjoy New Year's, as it's always an opportunity for me to reflect on what I didn't achieve, unfulfilled ambition, where I am as opposed to where I should be.... or even where I'd like to be, the nightmare of impossible dreams...
But not this year. This year, I think, is one to maybe take a little pride in getting through in reasonable shape. Not the ideal shape, but one that's at least functional & intact
The death of my Father, starting with the phone call I received at work, telling me he'd fallen down the stairs, was unconscious & in the back of an ambulance on the way to hospital. His long struggle with Parkinson's Disease, including the fitting of an electrical stimulator inside his skull to couteract tremors, only made him more determined to do all the things he'd always done - draw, carve & all the domestic chores & projects he always found, including painting the upstairs back balcony. Paint tins in one hand, brushes in the other, he started up the stairs for the last time, ignoring the handrail. One thing the stimulator couldn't fix was balance... & he lost his
The two operations to relieve pressure on his shrunken brain (another Parkinson's symptom), the little improvements, but the large setbacks. The last time we took him off the breathing support
The phone call I received at work, telling me he was gone. The funeral with welcome friends & family & some who emerged from the past, only to fade back into it once the occasion was over. The hardest speech I ever made. The best one my sister ever gave
The death of a beloved family cat after a fall at home - off a high fence. coming home to find her in her usual place, only to realise something was drastically wrong when I picked her up. The wait at the all-night Vet. The decision the following morning to have her put down. The quiet, sunny corner of the back yard where she'll forever be under a shady plant
The health issues... mine, my nearest & dearest, family, friends. Just because I can endure, doesn't mean I want to... I'm quite capable of enjoying a quiet, orderly life too... when's that coming?
2016... hopefully. The year of the Phoenix?
