Everything I Know About Life...

[waitingman]

... I learned from watching too much daytime television.

One of the downsides to my new Debtor's Prison is that the highly-priced LCD, LED & plasma screens I sell must be switched on to show off their brilliance to the few-and-far-between customers who venture through the doors. This means from 7.30am I'm exposed to either the Channel Nine Morning Show, followed by Kerri-Anne Kennerley, or the Channel Seven morning show with the abominable Kochie, followed by two hours of Larry Emdur. And that's just the mornings...

I have now seen so much of this mind-numbing "Infotainment with Advertorials" that I'm starting to think taking a 48-Hour Detox formula & 3 minutes a day on the Ab Circle Pro will make me a fitter, happier, more productive person &, if that doesn't do the trick, then I'll feel better on Swisse vitamins & supplements.

Also, I should get every kind of insurance I can & start contributing to a funeral fund plan to relieve the burden on any loved ones I leave behind. I'm convinced I absolutely, desperately need a new vacuum cleaner, swivel mop, glass thermal oven, stepladder... & my new job should be as a franchisee selling gift hampers for fun & profit... or would I prefer to sell insurance products to customers in their own homes...

... Help!...

Comments

[shadow-5tails.livejournal.com]

Ick. Could you petition for DVDs instead? Possibly on the grounds that they put the TVs through their paces better than most television does anyway? I know which, as customers, we've always preferred - and often requested - to see...