Heal Thyself!!
Apr. 9th, 2009 09:51 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
waitingmanGratefully swiped from ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
shadow_5tails, so if you've read her recent entries, don't click
For the would-be Healer:
You cannot heal what wishes to be broken.
Sometimes, caring is enough. Sometimes, it is not.
To give of yourself, you must give to yourself.
You cannot continue helping others if you destroy yourself in the process. It is good to think of yourself from time to time.
What someone needs may differ from what you would need in the same situation.
Sympathy and empathy are two different things. Both have their place - as does the perspective of detachment.
Healing someone and saving them are two very different things. People can only save themselves.
Those who believe that it is a healer's role - or worse, her duty - to do all the work for them are not seeking to be healed.
Take responsibility for that which is your own; taking on the guilt of others serves no-one.
There are times when being broken is easier than fighting to stay in one piece.
In those times, some find it appealing to shatter into pieces and rebuild from scratch. This is their choice.
However, coming home is not the same as never having left. Similarly, rebuilding is not the same as never having broken.
Rebuilding is rarely a perfect process - just like disassembling and reassembling something to find there's one screw left over, something tends to be lost with each shattering. Even if it is only a few tiny pieces, it is worth remembering this.
There is no point in rebuilding to the old pattern; an old structure rebuilt in the old way will have the old failings.
Allowing yourself to become a crutch will never allow the one you support to heal. Walk beside a person on their path, but you if you carry them every step of the way, how can they ever walk freely?
Sometimes, people learn more from having the freedom to stumble and fall than from having their hands held every step of the way.
Remember to give those you would help space to heal and to grow. Mothering is only one step away from smothering.
Sometimes, you have to walk away. To do so doesn't mean that you don't care; on the contrary, sometimes it is the most caring act of all.
shadow_5tails, so if you've read her recent entries, don't click For the would-be Healer:
You cannot heal what wishes to be broken.
Sometimes, caring is enough. Sometimes, it is not.
To give of yourself, you must give to yourself.
You cannot continue helping others if you destroy yourself in the process. It is good to think of yourself from time to time.
What someone needs may differ from what you would need in the same situation.
Sympathy and empathy are two different things. Both have their place - as does the perspective of detachment.
Healing someone and saving them are two very different things. People can only save themselves.
Those who believe that it is a healer's role - or worse, her duty - to do all the work for them are not seeking to be healed.
Take responsibility for that which is your own; taking on the guilt of others serves no-one.
There are times when being broken is easier than fighting to stay in one piece.
In those times, some find it appealing to shatter into pieces and rebuild from scratch. This is their choice.
However, coming home is not the same as never having left. Similarly, rebuilding is not the same as never having broken.
Rebuilding is rarely a perfect process - just like disassembling and reassembling something to find there's one screw left over, something tends to be lost with each shattering. Even if it is only a few tiny pieces, it is worth remembering this.
There is no point in rebuilding to the old pattern; an old structure rebuilt in the old way will have the old failings.
Allowing yourself to become a crutch will never allow the one you support to heal. Walk beside a person on their path, but you if you carry them every step of the way, how can they ever walk freely?
Sometimes, people learn more from having the freedom to stumble and fall than from having their hands held every step of the way.
Remember to give those you would help space to heal and to grow. Mothering is only one step away from smothering.
Sometimes, you have to walk away. To do so doesn't mean that you don't care; on the contrary, sometimes it is the most caring act of all.
