You Have To Make Your Own Fun...
Apr. 6th, 2009 03:33 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
waitingmanSome of you may have seen this before ~
12 March 2005
Kmart Store 4855
Summit Ridge, Reno, NV, 89503
Mrs. Fenton
35 Rasmussen Street
Moores Park, Reno, NV, 89503
Dear Mrs. Fenton,
During the preceding 6 months our security staff has been monitoring your husband's activities while in our store, all of which have been verified by our surveillance cameras & we have retained copies on tape.
We have repeatedly given your husband verbal warnings while he is in this store & he has subsequently ignored them. He replied to these warnings with rudeness & the response “While the wife shops here, I'll come here too”. We are therefore forced to ban you, your husband & your family from this store.
The following list details your husband's activities in this store over the past six months.
June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms & randomly put them in people's carts when they weren't looking.
July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.
July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.
July 19: Walked up to an employee & told her in an official tone, "Code 3 in Housewares" & watched what happened.
August 4: Went to the Service Desk & asked to put a bag of M&M's on lay-by.
September 14: Moved a 'Caution -WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
September 15: Set up a tent in the Camping department & told other shoppers he'd invite them in if they'll bring pillows.
September 23: If any staff offer him assistance he begins to cry & asks, “Why can't you people just leave me alone?”
October 4: Looked right into the security camera; used it a mirror & picked his nose.
November 10: While in the Gun department, asks the clerk if he knows where the antidepressants are.
December 3: Darted around the store suspiciously loudly humming the 'Mission Impossible' theme.
December 6: In the Auto department, practised his 'Madonna Look' using different size funnels.
December 18: Hid in a clothing rack & when people browsed through, yelled "PICK ME! PICK ME!"
December 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, assumed the foetal position & screamed "NO! NO! It's those voices again!"
December 23: Went in a fitting room, shut the door, waited a while; then yelled, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!
John F. Walker
Store Manager
I am inspired... anyone like to come shopping?
12 March 2005
Kmart Store 4855
Summit Ridge, Reno, NV, 89503
Mrs. Fenton
35 Rasmussen Street
Moores Park, Reno, NV, 89503
Dear Mrs. Fenton,
During the preceding 6 months our security staff has been monitoring your husband's activities while in our store, all of which have been verified by our surveillance cameras & we have retained copies on tape.
We have repeatedly given your husband verbal warnings while he is in this store & he has subsequently ignored them. He replied to these warnings with rudeness & the response “While the wife shops here, I'll come here too”. We are therefore forced to ban you, your husband & your family from this store.
The following list details your husband's activities in this store over the past six months.
June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms & randomly put them in people's carts when they weren't looking.
July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.
July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.
July 19: Walked up to an employee & told her in an official tone, "Code 3 in Housewares" & watched what happened.
August 4: Went to the Service Desk & asked to put a bag of M&M's on lay-by.
September 14: Moved a 'Caution -WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
September 15: Set up a tent in the Camping department & told other shoppers he'd invite them in if they'll bring pillows.
September 23: If any staff offer him assistance he begins to cry & asks, “Why can't you people just leave me alone?”
October 4: Looked right into the security camera; used it a mirror & picked his nose.
November 10: While in the Gun department, asks the clerk if he knows where the antidepressants are.
December 3: Darted around the store suspiciously loudly humming the 'Mission Impossible' theme.
December 6: In the Auto department, practised his 'Madonna Look' using different size funnels.
December 18: Hid in a clothing rack & when people browsed through, yelled "PICK ME! PICK ME!"
December 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, assumed the foetal position & screamed "NO! NO! It's those voices again!"
December 23: Went in a fitting room, shut the door, waited a while; then yelled, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!
John F. Walker
Store Manager
I am inspired... anyone like to come shopping?
Mission accomplished..
Date: 2009-04-06 06:31 am (UTC)