Jan. 29th, 2008

Dichotomy

Jan. 29th, 2008 08:38 pm
waitingman: (Scream)
So... I complain after a while when life gets too busy & I never seem to have a moment to myself, dealing with arisings personal, professional & musical. I help eagerly, enthusiastically, put my life on hold, re-prioritise, provide, reschedule without rancour or complaint... stoically endure, cope, work through... grin & bear... grit teeth & smile...

Until a window of inactivity for a day or 2 arrives & I guard it like a newborn babe ~ cherishing the thought of some days alone to relax, regroup, sleep, revitalise... wonder, reflect, worry... feel neglected, wonder who I've offended, miss people... wonder why nobody calls, e-mails or texts, resist the urge to e-mail, call or text everyone I know to reassure myself I'm not in trouble or forgotten...

I need a hobby... or a habit.

Or an overhaul.

Or, I need to rediscover the simple joys in those things I used to do to relax, which don't hold the same appeal these days ~ writing, playing... writing & playing... writing while playing... photography.

I definitely need to let more things go... including the liquid anaesthetics/distractions I find too easily to hand when inertia comes calling with all its baggage.
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