How To Get Mugged On Memory Lane
May. 9th, 2021 02:50 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
waitingmanStep 1: See a sticker of what looks like some African Republic's flag on the back of a car at the traffic lights
Step 2: Remember something you read the other day about there only being one country in the world with an AK47 on its flag. Can't remember which country, but pretty sure it's another African Republic...
Step 3: Remember the time you were in junior Boy Scouts ('Cubs') when you were about 8 & everyone had to design their family 'coat of arms' & you had a clenched fist on yours as a symbol of strength, but the adult 'Pack Leader' told the whole group you wanted to fight everyone & laughed...
Step 4: Wish, for at least the millionth time, that selective memory erasure was a real thing
I don't know if this happens to anyone else, but this kind of memory association triggering happens to me all the fucking time. I will see, hear, or read something, which sets off a runaway train of associated thoughts & then memories, which 99 times out of 100 will be a bad &/or embarrassing thing that happened some time in the past... sometimes not even the distant past
This is the main reason I don't do nostalgia. As this 'blog entry's title suggests, it's like walking down Memory Lane & getting punched in the face by some bastard appearing from nowhere. My Memory Lane is more like a dark alley, with lots of places for bad things to hide... & wait
When this happens, it usually elicits a Janov-ian outburst - either a wordless cry of pain, anger & denial - loud if I'm alone, or as close to under my breath as I can manage, if in company, or a verbal command of 'Stop', 'No', or 'Get the fuck out of my head you miserable bastard!!'... again either out loud, or as quiet as I can manage, depending on the circumstance & company. This doesn't make the actual memory go away, but at least it dials down the intensity of negative feeling that comes with it, then after a couple of mental re-runs of lessening impact, it retreats into the dark alley again...
Step 2: Remember something you read the other day about there only being one country in the world with an AK47 on its flag. Can't remember which country, but pretty sure it's another African Republic...
Step 3: Remember the time you were in junior Boy Scouts ('Cubs') when you were about 8 & everyone had to design their family 'coat of arms' & you had a clenched fist on yours as a symbol of strength, but the adult 'Pack Leader' told the whole group you wanted to fight everyone & laughed...
Step 4: Wish, for at least the millionth time, that selective memory erasure was a real thing
I don't know if this happens to anyone else, but this kind of memory association triggering happens to me all the fucking time. I will see, hear, or read something, which sets off a runaway train of associated thoughts & then memories, which 99 times out of 100 will be a bad &/or embarrassing thing that happened some time in the past... sometimes not even the distant past
This is the main reason I don't do nostalgia. As this 'blog entry's title suggests, it's like walking down Memory Lane & getting punched in the face by some bastard appearing from nowhere. My Memory Lane is more like a dark alley, with lots of places for bad things to hide... & wait
When this happens, it usually elicits a Janov-ian outburst - either a wordless cry of pain, anger & denial - loud if I'm alone, or as close to under my breath as I can manage, if in company, or a verbal command of 'Stop', 'No', or 'Get the fuck out of my head you miserable bastard!!'... again either out loud, or as quiet as I can manage, depending on the circumstance & company. This doesn't make the actual memory go away, but at least it dials down the intensity of negative feeling that comes with it, then after a couple of mental re-runs of lessening impact, it retreats into the dark alley again...
