So... A Wise Guy Huh?

A logician's wife is having a baby. The doctor immediately hands the newborn to the dad. The wife says, 'Is it a boy or a girl?' The logician says, 'Yes.'

How can you tell the difference between a chemist and a plumber?
Ask them to pronounce 'unionized.'

C, Eb, and G walk into a bar. The bartender says, 'Sorry, no minors.'

Knock knock. Who's there?
Knock knock. Who's there?
Knock knock. Who's there?
Knock knock. Who's there?
Philip Glass.

A Roman walks into a bar and asks for a martinus. 'You mean martini?' the bartender asks. The Roman replies, 'Slow down there! I'll let you know when I want more.'

What does a dyslexic, agnostic, insomniac do at night? He stays up wondering if there really is a dog.