A Best Of List...

... that I look forward to every year

The Best Jokes From The 2017 Edinburgh Comedy Festival


1. "I'm not a fan of the new pound coin, but then again, I hate all change." – Ken Cheng

2. "Trump's nothing like Hitler. There's no way he could write a book." – Frankie Boyle

3. "I've given up asking rhetorical questions. What's the point?" – Alexei Sayle

4. "I'm looking for the girl-next-door type. I'm just gonna keep moving house till I find her." – Lew Fitz

5. "I like to imagine the guy who invented the umbrella was going to call it the 'brella'. But he hesitated." – Andy Field

6. "Combine Harvesters. And you'll have a really big restaurant." – Mark Simmons

7. "I'm rubbish with names. It's not my fault, it's a condition. There's a name for it…" – Jimeoin

8. "I have two boys, five and six. We're no good at naming things in our house." – Ed Byrne

9. "I wasn't particularly close to my dad before he died... which was lucky, because he trod on a land mine." – Olaf Falafel

10. "Whenever someone says, 'I don't believe in coincidences.' I say, 'Oh my God, me neither!'" – Alasdair Beckett-King

11. "A friend tricked me into going to Wimbledon by telling me it was a men's singles event." – Angela Barnes

12. "As a vegan, I think people who sell meat are disgusting; but apparently people who sell fruit and veg are grocer." – Adele Cliff

13. "For me dying is a lot like going camping. I don't want to do it." – Phil Wang

14. "I wonder how many chameleons snuck onto the Ark." – Adam Hess

15. "I went to a Pretenders gig. It was a tribute act." – Tim Vine