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31 January 2015
Jan. 31st, 2015 01:37 amThe insomnia post...
How much the insomnia is down to the recent radical downsizing of my alcohol consumption is up for debate against the overactive & unstoppable train of thought regarding an incident at work today that rankled, then annoyed, then infuriated, then... kept me awake. Probably
Not to go into too much detail, let's just say double standards are always annoying, especially when they're presented & perpetuated by a Superior whose age is less than half of mine.
The next station the train of thought rolls into is one first added to the route about a week ago, following a conversation with Long-Suffering Partner, itself prompted by my failure to act or speak up when some total stranger had pushed their way past/over/through us on the street. I realised that the problem with working in Sales my whole life means that I'm incapable of being assertively honest to 99% of people when they do things that annoy me. As a salesperson, you're expected to treat the client as untouchable - no matter how unpleasant they are to deal with & any rudeness or 'bad' behaviour just has to be tolerated because we want to get their money. Trouble is... when you've been doing that for long enough, you start to treat everyone that way... all the time. So the guy who pushes in front of you in the queue, or the pram-pusher who bruises your shins, or even just the belligerent idiot who shouts "Whaddayoulookinat?!?", they don't get the response they richly deserve - you just smile politely & assure them there's no problem, when there really, really is & you're silently screaming inside that they should go & verb their adjective noun right adjectivally now!!
Which brings me back to the incident at work today too... It's quite the achievement to shut down tens of thousands of years worth of evolved male aggression & render me no more threatening than a basset hound
Long-Suffering Partner likes to joke that she's responsible for most of the grey hairs I've sprouted, but I think it's more likely down to simple stress - the feeling you get when the mind overrides the body's desire to kick the living shit out of some truckbit who thoroughly deserves it
I wonder if I'm too old to take up kick-boxing... target shooting... archery??
How much the insomnia is down to the recent radical downsizing of my alcohol consumption is up for debate against the overactive & unstoppable train of thought regarding an incident at work today that rankled, then annoyed, then infuriated, then... kept me awake. Probably
Not to go into too much detail, let's just say double standards are always annoying, especially when they're presented & perpetuated by a Superior whose age is less than half of mine.
The next station the train of thought rolls into is one first added to the route about a week ago, following a conversation with Long-Suffering Partner, itself prompted by my failure to act or speak up when some total stranger had pushed their way past/over/through us on the street. I realised that the problem with working in Sales my whole life means that I'm incapable of being assertively honest to 99% of people when they do things that annoy me. As a salesperson, you're expected to treat the client as untouchable - no matter how unpleasant they are to deal with & any rudeness or 'bad' behaviour just has to be tolerated because we want to get their money. Trouble is... when you've been doing that for long enough, you start to treat everyone that way... all the time. So the guy who pushes in front of you in the queue, or the pram-pusher who bruises your shins, or even just the belligerent idiot who shouts "Whaddayoulookinat?!?", they don't get the response they richly deserve - you just smile politely & assure them there's no problem, when there really, really is & you're silently screaming inside that they should go & verb their adjective noun right adjectivally now!!
Which brings me back to the incident at work today too... It's quite the achievement to shut down tens of thousands of years worth of evolved male aggression & render me no more threatening than a basset hound
Long-Suffering Partner likes to joke that she's responsible for most of the grey hairs I've sprouted, but I think it's more likely down to simple stress - the feeling you get when the mind overrides the body's desire to kick the living shit out of some truckbit who thoroughly deserves it
I wonder if I'm too old to take up kick-boxing... target shooting... archery??
