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Pater Familias
Sep. 2nd, 2012 10:20 amThis will be a tough Fathers Day for an old friend of mine ~ she lost her father to complications from heart surgery a few days ago
And my father is an increasingly pale reflection of the powerful active man I grew up with. From ocean yacht racing, wood carving & WWII Jeep safaris to, at this point, about halfway down the cruel slope of Parkinson's Disease. He stammers, he shuffles & it has affected his self-confidence incredibly, but he fights on & still possesses the temper I went in fear of for more than half my life. Now... I have to constantly remind myself to not lose patience with him when he takes five minutes to say things & needs help doing physical things that in his prime he would do one-handed & blindfolded... so to speak. I need to remember that I actively avoided my paternal grandmother in the last few years of her life because her senility was so depressing &, again, frustrating. And then she died ~ & I saw how selfish & callous I'd been
Can't do that to Father
A few of my friends will also be celebrating the Day ~ guys I used to be in bands with, or at school with... certainly spent 'formative' years with, in one way or another, before they heard the Siren's Song of Domestic Bliss, put down their instruments, put aside boyish things & became what is perceived to be a Man. And good luck & fortune to them, I say...but I've never heard that Song, either live or on CD/LP/mP3. The Loved One has made a more-or-less settled man of me, but not yet tame or domesticated & still searching for my niche, my purpose... the hoary old chestnut of the Meaning of Life. One thing I know is that I won't find it in perpetuating my genetic traits for the greater Species. No Fathers Day is on the (Hallmark) cards for me
I'm sure the world won't mind
And my father is an increasingly pale reflection of the powerful active man I grew up with. From ocean yacht racing, wood carving & WWII Jeep safaris to, at this point, about halfway down the cruel slope of Parkinson's Disease. He stammers, he shuffles & it has affected his self-confidence incredibly, but he fights on & still possesses the temper I went in fear of for more than half my life. Now... I have to constantly remind myself to not lose patience with him when he takes five minutes to say things & needs help doing physical things that in his prime he would do one-handed & blindfolded... so to speak. I need to remember that I actively avoided my paternal grandmother in the last few years of her life because her senility was so depressing &, again, frustrating. And then she died ~ & I saw how selfish & callous I'd been
Can't do that to Father
A few of my friends will also be celebrating the Day ~ guys I used to be in bands with, or at school with... certainly spent 'formative' years with, in one way or another, before they heard the Siren's Song of Domestic Bliss, put down their instruments, put aside boyish things & became what is perceived to be a Man. And good luck & fortune to them, I say...but I've never heard that Song, either live or on CD/LP/mP3. The Loved One has made a more-or-less settled man of me, but not yet tame or domesticated & still searching for my niche, my purpose... the hoary old chestnut of the Meaning of Life. One thing I know is that I won't find it in perpetuating my genetic traits for the greater Species. No Fathers Day is on the (Hallmark) cards for me
I'm sure the world won't mind
