![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
"... Once I Get Started, I Go To Town"
Jul. 31st, 2009 06:04 pmHaven't had a lot to say these last few months... The short story is that I've been unemployed since March & suitable work has been elusive. Hell, even unsuitable work is hard to come by at the moment, unless I fancy flipping burgers. Which I don't.
The longer I'm out of work, the less I know what I want to do when/if I'm employed again... the more reasons I can find to not apply for some things because I don't feel like I can/could do them any more.
Meanwhile the cost of living arrives daily in the mail & the old saying 'If you think nobody cares whether you live or die, try missing a couple of payments' has never been more insistently true.
Thank Providence then, for my loving partner who keeps me from withdrawing completely into my shell & bricking up the entrance. And to a select, small circle of friends whose words, empathy & practical advice, as well as pro-active help, keep the wind in my sails & my eyes on the horizon.
There are rants & raves & fuming vitriolic tirades I could post almost daily, interspersed with contemplations of the yawning void I feel within, but I feel that it wouldn't make for entertaining reading for too long... even for me. I've been toying with the idea of keeping a journal off-line ~ maybe even in a real diary, just to provide a vent for the grind & pressure, as I've fallen into the classic on-line journal conundrum ~ you start out writing about your life & feelings, but as you gather a readership you begin to treat each entry as a performance, wondering if your Friends will like the entry or not. And you start leaving out your innermost thoughts & feelings because you don't know how they'll be received or, in some more unpleasant cases, there are people you'd rather didn't know what you've been up to or going through. Eventually you reach the point of wondering what you have this LJ thing for anyway?!
I haven't succumbed or defected to MySpace, FaceBook, Twitter... or any of these other entities because I have no use for them &, in two cases, I find them shallow, facile & occasionally puerile. I have, however, been spending a lot of time over on Flickr, as photography has become my latest enthusiastic hobby ~ my guitars sit on their stands in mute anguish.
So ~ there you have it.
The longer I'm out of work, the less I know what I want to do when/if I'm employed again... the more reasons I can find to not apply for some things because I don't feel like I can/could do them any more.
Meanwhile the cost of living arrives daily in the mail & the old saying 'If you think nobody cares whether you live or die, try missing a couple of payments' has never been more insistently true.
Thank Providence then, for my loving partner who keeps me from withdrawing completely into my shell & bricking up the entrance. And to a select, small circle of friends whose words, empathy & practical advice, as well as pro-active help, keep the wind in my sails & my eyes on the horizon.
There are rants & raves & fuming vitriolic tirades I could post almost daily, interspersed with contemplations of the yawning void I feel within, but I feel that it wouldn't make for entertaining reading for too long... even for me. I've been toying with the idea of keeping a journal off-line ~ maybe even in a real diary, just to provide a vent for the grind & pressure, as I've fallen into the classic on-line journal conundrum ~ you start out writing about your life & feelings, but as you gather a readership you begin to treat each entry as a performance, wondering if your Friends will like the entry or not. And you start leaving out your innermost thoughts & feelings because you don't know how they'll be received or, in some more unpleasant cases, there are people you'd rather didn't know what you've been up to or going through. Eventually you reach the point of wondering what you have this LJ thing for anyway?!
I haven't succumbed or defected to MySpace, FaceBook, Twitter... or any of these other entities because I have no use for them &, in two cases, I find them shallow, facile & occasionally puerile. I have, however, been spending a lot of time over on Flickr, as photography has become my latest enthusiastic hobby ~ my guitars sit on their stands in mute anguish.
So ~ there you have it.
