Halfway Up The Stairs

An overdue catch-up call with a good friend tonight. She reads this journal, but feels she gets "... the real perspective..." on my life when she combines what I write with what I say. Which is probably a fair call. Speaking with her this evening, I realised that I have let a certain 'crowd pleasing' attitude determine what I post about & that this LJ has, over time, become less of a diary & more of a venue in which to perform, exhibit photos & share jokes. When I do write about personal things or events, it tends to be only the good stuff... or at least the entertainingly bad stuff.

So, to redress the balance, briefly. Whilst there have been some wonderful events & people in my life over the last 6 months or so, I feel that the balance sheet shows more sadness, frustration, disappointment & potentially depression ~ than it does of joy, fulfilment, satisfaction & general happiness. Things have not gone anywhere near as well as I'd planned... let alone hoped & I find myself in a much-less-than perfect situation in most aspects of my life.

Sure, things could always be worse, but (dis)satisfaction is a personal thing & I refuse to compare my life with someone else's in order to feel better about what I do have that he/she doesn't. That's not how it works.

But my optimism remains intact, if not unscarred. There will, eventually, be a light at the end of the tunnel that isn't the 8.47 train to Wynyard running 8 minutes late, as usual...

As Churchill said... "When you're going through hell... keep going."

We will return you to our normal service in the next entry.