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From today's SMH 'blog The Daily Truth...



Agent provocateur - a renter who deliberately annoys his landlord's representative
Aide-de-camp - help those homosexuals!
Apres-ski - enjoy the snow
Au contraire - yeah, but that's different
Au fait - dammit, I can't change the future.
Au naturel - but of course!
Au pair - dammit, she has nice breasts.
Au revoir - yeah, there's a dam there, so what?
Avant-garde - I want security!
Beaucoup - a small cage in which a woman keeps her boyfriend
Billet doux - temporary accommodation for feathered pond dwellers
Bon appetit! - an amount that could be consumed, presumably, by the former frontman of AC/DC
Bon voyage! - death
Bureau de change - let's move the desk
C'est magnifique! - sex with family members is fantastic!
Cafe au lait - a long-awaited place to eat
Cap-a-pied - a urinated-upon hat
Carte blanche - take Baby Jane's sister away!
Cause celebre - let's get this party started
C'est la mode - sex with family members is fashionable
Chaise longue - retrieve that chair
Charge d'affaires - hooray for infidelity!
Chevalier d'industrie - any commerce concerned with the career of Maurice Chevalier
Chic - woman
Cinema verite - confirm the existence of the theatre, please
Conte - a very annoying person
Cordon sanitaire - put a rope round the clean people
Cotte d'armes - put on a jumper
Coup de grace - a small cage once inhabited by Princess Grace of Monaco
Creme de la creme - bring on the cream, and lots of it!
Crepe - not very good
Cul de sac - lose the bag
De rigueur - one who tampers with election results
De trop - a Sydney cafe
Detente - one's camping quarters
Double entendre - to come twice
Droit du seigneur - a robot's autograph
Eau de toilette - at last, the crapper!
En masse - fat
En passant - drunk
En route - sex
En suite - nice
Entente - camping
Entre nous - good first course
Escargots - he has the vehicle/vehicles
Esprit de corps - what is left of the apple
Fait accompli - your school fair has been a great success
Faux amis - a Martin Amis impersonator
Faux pas - I do not wish to go hunting
Femme fatale - she's dead
Film noir - a movie? No thanks
Fin de siecle - stop this repetition!
Folie a deux - dancing ducks
Force majeure - to push shit uphill
Gaffe - sticky tape
Grand Prix - big dick
Haute cuisine - up-itself food
Hors de combat - the act of haggling with a prostitute
Hors d'oeuvre - a prostitute's...y'know...thing
Hors-concours - when prostitutes and customer agree upon a price
Je ne sais pas - Jennifer declines
Je-ne-sais-quoi - Jennifer thinks you're a poof
Joie de vivre - fun during sickness
La petite mort - a small person called Mort who sings
Laissez-faire - the carnival was not well organised.
L'esprit de l'escalier - that guy gutting the fish is actually a ghost
Menage a trois - cheap perfume in a tree
Merci beaucoup! - thanks for the cage for my boyfriend
Moi aussi - my Australian mate
Negligee - I can't believe I forgot!
Noblesse oblige - looks like I'm stuck with this small penis
Nom de plume - so, how many clouds of smoke are there, actually?
Nouvelle cuisine - there is no food that sticks together and rips apart easily
Objet d'art - I most strongly protest the presence of that pointy thing!
Panache - what one gets after playing the flute for too long
Par excellence - a hole in one
Pas de deux - hand me the duck
Piece de resistance - harmony through stubbornness
Pied-a-terre - the little dog's pissed himself
Plat du jour - tongue-tied or tangle-mouthed
Pot-pourri - bring on the marijuana!
Pour encourager les autres - praise heaped upon lesser writers
Prix fixe - what she often needs
Quelle horreur! - that's awful, stop it!
Quintessential - where the hell is Quint when you need him?
Raison d'etre - this sultana is not beneficial.
Sacre bleu - a holy war
Sangfroid - the psychiatrist's lunch
Savoir-faire - a reasonable type of sausage
S'il vous plait - a ridiculous hair do
Soi-disant - One who insists on real meat and dairy products
Soupcon - the art of Andy Warhol
Table d'hote - a popular place to eat
Tant mieux - an ill-tempered cat
Tour de force - an excursion to a police station
Vis-a-vis - two copies of a popular British comic book
Volte-face - to wear an expression as if you are over it
Voulez-vous coucher avec moi (ce soir)? - disco?
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