waitingman: (Default)
waitingman ([personal profile] waitingman) wrote2009-11-07 05:33 pm
Entry tags:

Everything I Know About Life...

... I learned from watching too much daytime television.

One of the downsides to my new Debtor's Prison is that the highly-priced LCD, LED & plasma screens I sell must be switched on to show off their brilliance to the few-and-far-between customers who venture through the doors. This means from 7.30am I'm exposed to either the Channel Nine Morning Show, followed by Kerri-Anne Kennerley, or the Channel Seven morning show with the abominable Kochie, followed by two hours of Larry Emdur. And that's just the mornings...

I have now seen so much of this mind-numbing "Infotainment with Advertorials" that I'm starting to think taking a 48-Hour Detox formula & 3 minutes a day on the Ab Circle Pro will make me a fitter, happier, more productive person &, if that doesn't do the trick, then I'll feel better on Swisse vitamins & supplements.

Also, I should get every kind of insurance I can & start contributing to a funeral fund plan to relieve the burden on any loved ones I leave behind. I'm convinced I absolutely, desperately need a new vacuum cleaner, swivel mop, glass thermal oven, stepladder... & my new job should be as a franchisee selling gift hampers for fun & profit... or would I prefer to sell insurance products to customers in their own homes...

... Help!...

[identity profile] reynardo.livejournal.com 2009-11-07 08:45 am (UTC)(link)
But don't forget, to qualify for this special offer you need to ring in the next 5 minutes! Our operators are waiting...

[identity profile] shadow-5tails.livejournal.com 2009-11-07 08:55 am (UTC)(link)
Ick. Could you petition for DVDs instead? Possibly on the grounds that they put the TVs through their paces better than most television does anyway? I know which, as customers, we've always preferred - and often requested - to see...

[identity profile] floyd277.livejournal.com 2009-11-09 09:10 pm (UTC)(link)
blue ray!!!!!

[identity profile] floyd277.livejournal.com 2009-11-16 12:54 pm (UTC)(link)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sgOWTM5R2DA