waitingman: (Wrong!)
So you've had a long day at work, had a sales meeting after work, have an early start tomorrow & you need cheering up?

Look no further!!

I just looked at this article & the accompanying photos & feel much better, thank you
waitingman: (Still Waiting)
A busy day at work... & a warm day out & about. Apparently all sorts of Autumn temperature records are being rewritten by this late wrong-season surge. And it sounds like the compressor that runs OBluV8's air-conditioning could use an overhaul or replacement. I wonder which is cheaper?

Watched 'The Walking Dead', now a book & bed. That's what I said... & it's what you've read, so don't be misled

...I always knew I was better at music than lyrics...
waitingman: (Still Waiting)
As an antidote to my previous post... & to prove that animals make the best people, here's a site that will put a smile on your face

Though not on the cat's...

I'm usually hopelessly behind when it comes to picking up on popular 'net things, so apologies if you've seen it before
waitingman: (Scream)
Taking a break from packing everything into our suitcases for the last time, I found an article on the Sydney Morning Herald site for all prospective parents

Are you sure you want a child?!

People who already have one & have gone through the real-life equivalent of this test, will smile & nod knowingly, I'm sure...
waitingman: (Broken English)
My Time-Share Cat
My Time-Share Cat, caught mid-yawn & stretch

LOLcat or other captions/comments in the Comments section, of course.
waitingman: (Droopy!)
Some of you may have seen this before ~

12 March 2005
Kmart Store 4855
Summit Ridge, Reno, NV, 89503

Mrs. Fenton
35 Rasmussen Street
Moores Park, Reno, NV, 89503


Dear Mrs. Fenton,

During the preceding 6 months our security staff has been monitoring your husband's activities while in our store, all of which have been verified by our surveillance cameras & we have retained copies on tape.

We have repeatedly given your husband verbal warnings while he is in this store & he has subsequently ignored them. He replied to these warnings with rudeness & the response “While the wife shops here, I'll come here too”. We are therefore forced to ban you, your husband & your family from this store.

The following list details your husband's activities in this store over the past six months.

June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms & randomly put them in people's carts when they weren't looking.
July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.
July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.
July 19: Walked up to an employee & told her in an official tone, "Code 3 in Housewares" & watched what happened.
August 4: Went to the Service Desk & asked to put a bag of M&M's on lay-by.
September 14: Moved a 'Caution -WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
September 15: Set up a tent in the Camping department & told other shoppers he'd invite them in if they'll bring pillows.
September 23: If any staff offer him assistance he begins to cry & asks, “Why can't you people just leave me alone?”
October 4: Looked right into the security camera; used it a mirror & picked his nose.
November 10: While in the Gun department, asks the clerk if he knows where the antidepressants are.
December 3: Darted around the store suspiciously loudly humming the 'Mission Impossible' theme.
December 6: In the Auto department, practised his 'Madonna Look' using different size funnels.
December 18: Hid in a clothing rack & when people browsed through, yelled "PICK ME! PICK ME!"
December 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, assumed the foetal position & screamed "NO! NO! It's those voices again!"
December 23: Went in a fitting room, shut the door, waited a while; then yelled, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!

John F. Walker
Store Manager


I am inspired... anyone like to come shopping?

Want!!

Mar. 24th, 2009 12:06 am
waitingman: (RoadTrip!!)
Dear Santa... or Birthday Goblin... hell I'd knock out a tooth if the relevant fairy granted my wish for one of these.

As seen on Top Gear tonight...



It just looks like the most fun you could have on four three wheels!!

Motivation

Jan. 2nd, 2009 03:44 pm
waitingman: (Droopy!)


It can come from the strangest places...
waitingman: (People Are People)
I am male. I am over forty. I have entered the time of life where inspections of body regions I've had nought but cursory contact with will become necessary from time to time.

Here is one fellow traveller's description of his colonoscopy. Over to Dave Barry of the Miami Herald

Not for the squeamish... but pretty darned funny )
waitingman: (Orang Utan)
Today's my first day off in 33 days... so why did I spend an hour in Debtor's Prison this afternoon? A week ago I joked about becoming institutionalised. Now... it's not funny.

And thanks to [livejournal.com profile] dorukai for raising a seldom-seen-of-late smile with this:

25 Things A Pessimist Should Do Before They Die )

Slow Day

Jul. 17th, 2008 12:53 pm
waitingman: (Default)
Via Reynardo ~ SCATTERGORIES...it's harder than it looks! Copy the text below, erase my answers, then use the 1st letter of your name to answer each of the following. They have to be real places, names, things.. nothing made up! Try to use different answers if the person in front of you had the same 1st initial.. You CAN'T use your name for the boy/girl name question

WHAT IS YOUR NAME? Justin
4 LETTER WORD: Just
BOY NAME: Jonathan
GIRL NAME: Jill
OCCUPATION: Janitor
A COLOUR: Jade
SOMETHING YOU WEAR: Jumper (but not very often)
BEVERAGE: Juniper Juice
FOOD: Jewfish
SOMETHING FOUND IN A BATHROOM: Jurlique products (but not in mine...)
PLACE: Jerilderie
REASON FOR BEING LATE: Just couldn't be bothered getting out of bed
SOMETHING YOU SHOUT: Jesus!! Who taught you to drive?!?!
waitingman: (Default)
As a kind of sequel to last week's meme about the 100 best movies, here's Rotten Tomatoes list of their 15 worst.

I can proudly admit to having seen only one of them... how about you?
waitingman: (Default)
I seem to be seesawing between serious & humorous with my entries of late. Given that it's humour's turn, I present you with this... via Reynardo's recent post.


Can I borrow your pen... erm... never mind!

Fun & Game

Jun. 4th, 2008 04:58 pm
waitingman: (Default)
Throw an egg... or 200 at Steve Ballmer

Or you can duck an egg, or 200 as Steve Ballmer, if that's the way you want to play it...

I just spent 20 minutes honing my technique. Slow day?? Actually, only the last hour or so. Outdoor equipment doesn't sell much in a downpour.
waitingman: (Treehead)
What Sex Is Your Brain?

I was surprised...
waitingman: (Treehead)
What's going on?!?!?



Suggestions in the Comments box please.
waitingman: (Default)
In an effort to be more entertaining sometimes...



What's Rupert Saying... or What's Jesus Saying??!!

Here's the real story...

Here I am now ~ entertain me...
waitingman: (Default)
Anyone who reads the Sydney Morning Herald website has probably already had a bash at this game...

Everyone else ~ go for it!! Release that pre-election tension!!

VCed Wafflers tonight. Not a bad bunch of speakers on the whole, but nobody respects the flashing 'Time's Nearly Up', or Time's Up, Shut Up' lights very much... For my meeting next month, I'm considering a shepherd's crook.

In A Spin

Oct. 10th, 2007 06:01 pm
waitingman: (Mother's Milk)
Thanks to my Foil, I spent the best part of 20 minutes or so, looking at this...

The Left/Right Brain Test

After making the image switch back & forth a few times, my brain began to hurt. So now I leave it to you...
waitingman: (Default)
It's Bulwer-Lytton time of year, again!!

This year's winner: Jim Gleeson. Madison, WI

Gerald began - but was interrupted by a piercing whistle which cost him ten percent of his hearing permanently, as it did everyone else in a ten-mile radius of the eruption, not that it mattered much because for them "permanently" meant the next ten minutes or so until buried by searing lava or suffocated by choking ash - to pee.

With thanks to a like-minded friend for alerting me...

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